2026 has been a bad year for Heckel’s Horse, but things are looking up for 2027.
Billy Childish and I started the Heckel’s Horse painting COLLABORATION (YES!!! Don’t believe the rubbish Billy’s quoted to have said in the recent Billy Childish biography by Ted Kessler, Heckel’s Horse is a collaboration of substantial and essential artistic input from both artists working in an immaculate, poetic, free-flowing harmonious synergy, generosity of spirit and mutuality of respect for each other, our work and the uncompromising insistence of the glorious truth.) 13 years ago, in 2013. It’s since become only stating the bleeding obvious to say:
Never, in the history of art, has such a great artist been so poorly represented, as Heckel’s Horse.
One thing I learned from my days as an office manager: 99.9% of tasks depending on more than two people never get done. I’m half of Heckel’s Horse and even I don’t know who’s pulling the Heckel’s Horse publication strings, but whatever’s going on, it’s not working. Something drastic clearly has to change to get HECKEL’S HORSE publication off the ground, and (THANKFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) a few days ago, I got the answer in a two hour surprise phone call from one of my regular blog readers. Finally!!! A suggestion for a Heckel’s Horse publication that doesn’t feel like it’s being delivered by a prophet of doomer and is already sliding down everyone’s to-do list into its pathetically inevitable oblivion. Prime example: The “official” Heckel’s Horse book has now been in production for over four years. What happened? Other people happened. Other people who clearly aren’t able and/ or interested. It really is true, for any youngsters out there, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF. If someone tells you they’ve got a better idea, they haven’t. Your idea’s better. If they had a better one, they’d do it. Do it yourself and ignore everyone else. I never told anyone about, or sought advice before publishing HECKEL’S HORSE JR. I just did it. I just did it because I had to just do it. Had I put it out there for feedback and guidance, I can guarantee you it’d still be warming up for the starting blocks, thinking it was about to go for a run. Involving others starts off by watering it down, then slowing it down, then bringing it down. More about this revolutionary phone call in a minute, but it first has to be understood that Heckel’s Horse paintings wipe the floor with virtually everything I’ve seen in either Contemporary or non-Contemporary art galleries, and yet they’re all just sat in wooden storage containers waiting to catch fire.
STUCKIST MANIFESTO point 8:
“It is the Stuckist’s duty to explore his/her neurosis and innocence through the making of paintings and displaying them in public, thereby enriching society by giving shared form to individual experience and an individual form to shared experience.” – Not box them up in crates never to be seen again.
If TEAM HECKEL’S HORSE want to see how it’s done, they should check out their nemesis, FREE ART FREES ART. Free Art Frees Art is amateur, punk, Stuckism, free, no nonsense, no marketing or pricing strategy, no fretting what the “art world” might think, no client dependency, no business bollocks. Free Art Frees Art doesn’t just believe in, or talk about sharing our work directly with the public and putting it straight into the hands of anyone who wants it. Free Art Frees Art ACTUALLY DOES IT.
If Free Art Frees Art was in charge of Heckel’s Horse, we wouldn’t even start talking about publishing books or holding exhibitions until we’d already done them. What THE STUCKIST MANIFESTO says of art school, BLACK IVORY expands to include all art institutions:
STUCKISM MANIFESTO point 19 (Black Ivory revisions in CAPITALS):
“If ANY ART INSTITUTION is unable to offer benefits to the community it is guesting in, then it has no right to be tolerated.”
The monotonous stasis of Heckel’s Horse’s official publications isn’t reason to be pessimistic. Both the “official” exhibition and “official” book are big, expensive, time consuming and demanding projects that need a lot of effort from a lot of people who have no obligation to be involved, and who I’m sure all have plenty of other demands and better things they’d rather be doing. Even I found my, relatively miniscule, task of updating the spreadsheet we need to keep track of all the Heckel’s Horse paintings, a complete pain in the arse and spanner in my day. The big problem with 2026 wasn’t any of this, but the continuation of my collaborative work with Billy Childish being, retrospectively and without my consent being given or even sought, re-evaluated to falsely either downgrade or eradicate my true artistic contribution.
Both Billy and I are pretty transparent people. We’re both insistent on the truth, and neither of us are liars. So, in 2027, I’ll be publicly laying out the full truth about our collaborative work together in response to the false, derogatory and slanderous crap that’s been published about my artistic contribution to it. The galleries I’ve seen online selling work “by Billy Childish” that I know aren’t, hopefully won’t care even if they notice, which I doubt they will. Both the Ted Kessler book itself, and the subsequent pushback I received for my responses to it, were all signals blaring “Okay, that’ll do now!!!!!!!!ENOUGH’S ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” I’m 50 next year. Time to start getting these things in order.
2026’s bad start (if I’m guessing my dates right) was discovering that Billy had been quoted in a biography written about him by Ted Kessler, claiming that I made little, if any, meaningful artistic contribution to Heckel’s Horse. I strongly suspect that, either, Billy didn’t say this or that he was taken wildly out of context. I struggle to imagine that Billy would say something so untrue and insulting about me, even in jest, let alone in an interview with his biographer. Whatever Billy may have said, he would have known that it was likely to appear in his biography.
There’s been many a time, when Billy and I have been in the studio together and he’s being interviewed, that without even being asked, Billy’s started talking about Heckel’s Horse and spoke kindly and highly of me and of our work together. Unless Billy had a major personality transplant between me leaving the room and Ted asking him about our collaborative paintings, something must have gone very wrong somewhere for his quote to have ended up reading as it does in the book. Whatever, it needs taking down one way or another. As I understand it, a request has been put in to change the quote for the forthcoming paperback edition. It’ll be interesting to see what results from that, if anything. If nothing, it’ll be difficult to see going ahead with the publication unchanged as anything other than a deliberate act of malicious slander, in my opinion.
I also struggle to believe that Ted Kessler would have used this quote and not seen fit to ask me if I had anything to say in reply, before publishing. Especially since I was, apparently, in the room with both Ted and Billy until shortly before Billy’s quote was supposedly made. It’s interesting enough that Ted didn’t ask to interview me for the biography at all, considering I’ve made so many collaboration paintings with Billy for so many years and worked so closely alongside him for so long. Thinking about it now, has anyone worked artistically with Billy Childish more substantially and significantly than this?…
Even more disappointing and perplexing than hearing about Billy’s quote though, was the pushback I got from people close to me.
About the video I published giving my side of the story, a family member said words to the effect of, “I thought making that video was beneath you.” Sort of a compliment, I suppose, but obviously a dig at me for publishing it.
Someone else, after being made aware of a series of paintings I published contesting the book, said I was blowing the issue out of proportion and should just laugh it off. Ha-ha-ha! One of my friends is quoted as taking credit for 13 years of my work!!!! F***ing hilarious!!!! This criticism, incidentally, was from the same person (also a good friend), who asked me to take down a poster I had at Camden Market that merely mentioned Billy’s name. Not even in any derogatory sense. Not even in a way anyone would understand. It was an in-joke I was making with myself that only I would get. A totally benign poster that, ultimately, made no statement on anything about anyone, to an audience of virtually no one. Thankfully, most of my friends and family didn’t react like these odd exceptions, but it makes me wonder what planet some people are living on.
Here’s the outcome of the two hour conversation that’s left me in no doubt whatsoever that Heckel’s Horse’s doldrumy 2026 will end on a SPECTACULARLY MASSIVE UPSWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE FIRST EVER HECEKEL’S HORSE EXHIBITION is happening, and will be held at Black Ivory, 26th November – 10th December 2026. The dates have been booked and publicised. The press release has been written, and probably sent to the first journalist by now. The exhibition opens in two weeks. The band’s been booked. The live broadcast exhibition video podcast has been confirmed. The book accompanying the show is almost finished. The artwork’s ready. Job done! almost. Not bad for a couple of days work.
Great news for all you true believers in the Stuckism manifesto, and in the disruptive betterment of culture. Great news too for those who oppose supporting people who create barriers for political gain and for any fan of the amateur DIY independent punk artist ethos…The first exhibition of Heckel’s Horse is happening in London. It’s two weeks long and opens on the 26th November 2026, at Black Ivory in London. Invitation only. To be invited you have to be a regular live viewer of, and participant in THE BLACK IVORY PODCAST free art giveaway, or be friends or family.
The BLACK IVORY Heckel’s Horse book will be done, dusted and put to bed in two weeks max. It’ll be a proper amateur production. No gloss. No coffee table. No machine. Available in time for the exhibition. Oh yeah, and there’ll be a filmed presentation at Speakers Corner in Hyde Park! GUNS A F***ING BLAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you watching, you do-nothing artworldies????????????????????
None of the Heckel’s Horse paintings will be in the exhibition. Who needs paintings? Viewers will be presented with blank walls where the art would usually go. What better environment to reflect on the tragedy of Heckel’s Horse’s current predicament? It’ll be the world’s first Stuckist conceptual art show. It’ll be the most historically significant exhibition of the year, beamed live across the planet on THE BLACK IVORY PODCAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is about publishing the truth and not letting those arrogant fXXks take me for a pushover just because they’ve awarded themselves fake positions of prestige and authority. I’ve experienced these kinds of people before in my work as a university administration manager. They conjure up non-existent hierarchies just to fill them with “little guys”, then treat those “little guys” like an insignificant afterthought. News Flash FXXkers!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE’S EQUAL. What else can explain erasing my attribution from work Billy and I have made together without even discussing it with me first? Bloody dingbat scumbags!!!!!!!!!!!!! The same pompous, talentless, entitled and disrespectful elitist hoity-toits the Stuckist manifesto recognised as contributing nothing of any real value, and as all being instantly replaceable. The Stuckist manifesto brilliantly and simultaneously reinstates the artist to their rightful position as TOP DOG. Writing me out of my own work! Who do these pretenders think they are????!!!!! Throughout 2027 Heckel’s Horse will be aggressively and prolifically exhibited and promoted by BLACK IVORY, mostly I expect at Camden Market. HECKEL’S HORSE WILL BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s not only the joy, abandonment and recklessness in the making of art, but in the manner of its public sharing that differentiates Black Ivory from Heckel’s Horse’s current abusers. But then, nothing’s been stopping Billy and I from showing the HECKEL’S HORSE paintings, really. It’s not as if it’s against the law, or that anyone has legal control to prevent us doing what we want. If we really wanted to pull our finger out, we could have done a long time ago. If someone offered us a billion pounds each to put on a Heckel’s Horse show, anywhere, any time, there’s no doubt in my mind we’d do it. Whatever arrangements were needed would be fast-tracked and prioritised over anything else. One way or another, we’d bother. We’d move mountains if necessary. No billion each on the table, we can’t be bothered. Still, I’m happy blaming the Commercial Art World and their, as I see it, anti-art agenda. Even though it’s not really their fault, obligation or job to exhibit Heckel’s Horse. It’s mine, so here it is. 13 years late.
ART POLITICIANS putting up BARRIERS FOR POLITICAL GAIN. Not only barriers to Heckel’s Horse, but to THE DISRUPTIVE BETTERMENT OF CULTURE. Who could SUPPORT such despicable malevolence? Who wouldn’t support the BLACK IVORY grassroots liberation of such ravishable paintings for the public to experience, delight at, contemplate at length and cherishingly relish? Granted, none will be in the exhibition, but this is Stuckist Conceptual Art. The establishment suppression of Heckel’s Horse is more ANTI-ART than anything the Stuckist Manifesto accuses Brit Art of. ONE can question the artistic value of conceptual art all ONE likes, but even if conceptual art was deemed to have no artistic value at all (not a view I share), at least it falls short of doing any damage. If you don’t like conceptual art, ignore it. Problem solved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No harm done. If you don’t like the pedestal Contemporary Art puts conceptual art on and think more deserving artists should be lauded instead, STOP BEING SUCH A CAREER ARTIST and make your own pedestal. BLACK IVORY says “Struggling Artists” quit moaning about the riches of others. Go and get your own money if it’s that important to you. If you fail, it’s your fault. We’re entitled to NOTHING celebrity artists have that we don’t. Black Ivory are hustlers. FREE ART FREES ART is a hustle. Enjoy the struggle or quit. Opposites repel. Negative attracts negative. Positive attracts positive. HECKEL’S HORSE’S publication was hijacked by the ABJECT NEGATIVE. Now, BLACK IVORY will inject a bit of positive, I’m sure, much to the chagrin of Heckel’s Horse’s old masters. It’s BLACK IVORY’s belief that all these big galleries can show whatever they want for all we care. Success is independence, not conquest. Especially conquests of such feeble opponents, with no pay off to enjoy that we didn’t have all along.
ART HATE once did a poster of Sir Nicholas Serota with a Hitler moustache and swastika on a noose. Or maybe it was a Charlie Chaplin reference, but whatever, Serota’s done nothing as anti-art as the imprisoners of Heckel’s Horse. Who are the imprisoners of HECKEL’S HORSE? We are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This exhibition finally puts an end to this absurd bondage. It’s almost inconceivable that Billy Childish (Stuckism co-founder who left the group shortly after) and I (recently appointed Director of Stuckism by Stuckism’s other co-founder, Charles Thomson) could allow ourselves to fall at such low hurdles. This is why you won’t, therefore, find a more historically important exhibition this year than HECKEL’S HORSE’s First Solo Show being hosted at The Black Ivory Popular Front. Heckel’s Horse is no longer bound by the shackles of the career artist. Heckel’s Horse needs no validation. Heckel’s Horse needs no approval. Heckel’s Horse is who he is, and doesn’t need to be in some big gallery to feel important, or one of those other silly words galleries use like “relevant” and “significant”. Heckel’s Horse needs no Commercial Art gallery to keep him fat and warm. Heckel’s Horse would rather be a starving feral wolf than an obedient pet with three meals a day shoved down its throat and a leash around its neck, like Degas once wisely said something very similar about, of Gauguin.
It’s at the ABSOLUTE CORE of the Stuckism Manifesto for artists to enrich society by sharing their work, ideally outside the confines of the ever-boring Commercial Art World clownshow that hates everything the Stuckism Manifesto champions and stands for. It’s not just some Stuckist side-note, like mocking pickled sharks or suggesting changes to art school admission, it’s indispensable and fundamental to the Stuckism manifesto ethos.
All three members of BLACK IVORY are also, and were first, Stuckists. We’re doing our Stuckist duty, as not per the Commercial Artworld. Likewise, L-13, my favourite light industrial workshop, toil at the grind relentlessly, day after day for “the disruptive betterment of culture”. These are the institutions I respect and consider national treasures. Not the career-maker movers and shakers that put up barriers in front of Heckel’s Horse, like he’s their prize castrated showjumper. Amateur’s feral. Punk’s feral. Stuckism’s feral. Black Ivory’s feral. If only we had more L-13’s. Trailblazers putting expression, fun, abandonment and a childish spirited passion that puts to shame those who create barriers for political gain. In fact, it was L-13 themselves who recently, and publicly, instructed me to stop supporting such people. I want to be more like L-13, so here it is….BLACK IVORY will be exhibiting poignant absences of Heckel’s Horse paintings for visitors to peruse, ponder, experience in true STUCKIST fashion and ultimately, regret. The HECKEL’S HORSE exhibition at BLACK IVORY will call into question the traditional routes art takes before being considered fit for public consumption by Commercial Art’s traditional gatekeepers. It will also call into question those gatekeepers true motivations for putting such barriers between paintings and the public, and will allow a tantalising glimpse into how, those truly believing in the principles handed down to us by the STUCKIST MANIFESTO, will embrace 2027, The Year Heckel’s Horse Broke.
