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Add Maddarings 1 to 15

18 Jun 2026

These are the first fifteen Add Maddarings. Oil paintings on A4 paper, hand drawn map done in pencil, glued onto cardboard I rescued from the street and painted in black acrylic. The green and red lettering is individually hand stamped in Caligo oil based printing inks. The writing on the back is done in Sharpie permanent…

The younger students are contaminated with a state of the legs called goat tap. Goat tap given by a mountain to one of the youngsters. Truth be told, that’s not carefully obvious. The Goat tap was showed into a youngster and afterward sent to the school by the mountain. Nobody truly thought they were going to stop you did they see shoreline said the shin detonator. No however then what’s it to you answered the supervisor official. It’s to make sure you been sending everybody down to the Sea Beach since last Wednesday and we haven’t had any extra teeth since a month ago. Shouldn’t detonator don’t for the most part talking this Manor to predominant workplaces. Well I don’t have the foggiest idea what you’re discussing said the course official. It has nothing to do with the children up over the dirt. It’s likewise got nothing to do with their instructors. The instructors are altogether driven by Braithwaite, she’s the head gourmet expert. Presently the head culinary specialist takes out the entirety of her indignation on the red Thread. She hauls it up out of the ground. Blare signal like a lorry says the child. Blare like no lorry said another child. You don’t have a clue in the event that anybody thinks about Underling as you did in shin detonator. They’re all going near and need to go tab tainted in their shins. They don’t look any more terrible off for it however do they said Braithwaite. No the steed prefix been sticking around with Underling excessively long. It’s a little assistance to any undifferentiated cell hosers. The shin detonator are being acquainted with numerous new characters. Simply out of the acidic sap basin they will climb. The flames are underneath yet the water isn’t getting any more sultry. The pony regent has essentially let them off without any penalty. He used to continue sending them upstairs however once the shin explode to leave the dirt, who realizes the end result for them. The pony administrator has it on great expert that no disciplines are truly issued over the dirt. In this way, the red correspondence string has been hauled up out of the profundities of the dirt and now every one of the privileged insights of the skin detonator uncovered. The insider facts of the pony consul uncovered. Indeed, even down to what he jumps at the chance to eat and drink. Braithwaite can’t pick between this. She’s solitary a head gourmet expert for the children, she shouldn’t help him detonator set up the supper for the steed consul. You continue coming into the kitchen horse consul, said Braithwaite she should address another person, as a steed prefix won’t hear her. The astrotwins ordinarily convey between the head cook and any other individual who happens to be human. In any case, the astrotwins have gone on vacation. So with the application star twins on vacation, there will be no correspondence between Braithwaite the head gourmet specialist for the school, and the pony regent. The Two Worlds the universe’s of over the dirt, and the universe of underneath the dirt, or, in the dirt, won’t speak with one another today. That is exactly how it will must be. Presently shouldn’t something be said about the limpet? The Olympics were all over the place however at this point they’ve all returned home. Nothing to do with the afro twins. They’ve been too bustling fleeing from felines. Felines in the snow. Braithwaite doesn’t educate anybody concerning the feline. She knows the astrotwins my here. The entire things fart two damaging for them.

They didn’t by and large look like cadets. You couldn’t on the off chance that you will get by in the school play territory. Cadets are the enemy of more youthful understudies. Undifferentiated cell hosers know this. The teachers know it. In fact, even Braithwaites assistants in the kitchen. In any case, if an undifferentiated creature hoser were to pay uncommon personality to a substitute educator on a Wednesday before casual breakfast… Well. They’d have available Cadets, and difficult to reach cadets swimming for the duration of the morning. By then cadets it is. School kids’ll suffer it. Regardless, not in the big-hearted soil. These more youthful understudies have goat tap in their knees. The soil is for the shin detonator. The thoughtful soil, some of which got pulled up when the strings were pulled up by Braithwaite and her assistants, is by and by most of the way in the shoes of the more youthful understudies, who have been playing in the play territory. It doesn’t take much portraying. No photographs need be drawn. The thoughtful soil is in the shoes of the children. By and by these children are the enemies of the Cadets. Where have the Cadets been? Have the Cadets been rampaging the earth like the children? No, they haven’t. So the Cadets are without altruistic soil in their shoes. Nothing the shoes can do about it. Nevertheless, I’m soil lives just in the shoes of the more youthful understudies who have been playing on the field. What’s more they more likely than not been playing in the field that particular night. That night. Braithwaite called the red cotton hang from underneath the earth, and put away much ideal seal over the grass. A couple was passed on by the pollinating of the Summer Breeze, onto the arrival zone of the play region. Kind soil laying there outwardly of the strong play region. Being trodden on by rampaging youths. Regardless, not cadets! No, cadets don’t have any thoughtful soil talk about.

This educates to play that they place on in Fisher. The other book. It’s an a lot shorter book, Fisher, than this one. Be that as it may, in that play they are altogether doused from what tumbles from the stage. What made it past the brief has doused shirt. The poor guide sat underneath the phase with a Trapdoor full stop and his head standing out of that trap entryway. Endeavoring to lead a plane from when your shirt has been splashed. Soaked as well as pollinated. He should be included. He should be a piece of the story. In any case, this poor guide is currently soaked in all that tumbled from the ponies head shot up in front of an audience before the town for all the town to giggle at. The towns diggy look basically anything. In any case, with this dust noticeable all around, or this insidious dust that has nothing to do with honey bees. With all that noticeable all around, the towns are going to stay silent for one minute.

Craft design and technology stem cell hosers all stand to attention. All Stand to attention as the horse prefix is coming up from underneath the soil. The craft design and technology teachers know their livelihoods the generosity of the horse prefect. But he from the craft design and technology teachers can see red ribbon all strewn around the soil isn’t really red ribbon. It’s the shin detonator communication thread, pulled up from underneath the soil by Braithwaite in another one of her rampant rages. That girl can’t contain her anger. She’s an angry little thing she’s been hanging out with a Sea Beach too long. The temperature is boiling now in the water, but all the shin detonator of runoff, where for? The shin detonator don’t like to explain their whereabouts to anyone other than the horse prefect. The horse prefect is hiding underneath the staircase, what staircase? It’s not too resentful to ask these questions is it? Stem cell hosers don’t ordinarily get involved in all these questions being bantered around. Nothing is on the bonfire anymore. Nothing, I said nothing, is on the bonfire anymore. No SIM detonator have hung around to listen to this electricity outage. You see what you’re doing Underling? Underling can’t hear you horse prefect! You’re not ready to be talking to people, until the afro twins have returned back from their holiday. They’ve been stretching injured parties all aboard the boat on the lake. You forgot about the boat on the lake! Where is that man where is that man? It’s not too late for him. He was down on the soil he was down in the boat. Was he down everywhere? He was down at the bottom of the river bed. I remember that old man at the bottom of the river bed. He could keep himself in Archer set. Archer? Archer are called shin detonator now. Don’t you remember changing Archer to shin detonator?

It’s the Horse Prefect, and his entangled association with another steed official and the shin detonator. More often than not the shin detonator are sending their very own kin to the teeth of the Sea Beach, while additionally agonizing over themselves provided that as ordinarily happens , before the month’s over there’s insufficient warmth to cook for one another detainees then they have a difficult issue. What’s more, that is , that they may need to give a few detainees a chance to free early and trust that the steed official doesn’t take note. In the event that the steed regent notification that a few detainees have been let out right on time, at that point the jail watches we’ll be in a bad position.

It doesn’t take much wrongdoing to go on under the side of the school, for the pony official to begin sending detainees pell mell to jail. However, before they get to jail every detainee needs to invest some energy something on the teeth of the ocean b****. There’s solitary one seat for every day. So what are the shin detonator expected to do, when there aren’t any nipples left for that month? They don’t have any decision however to either break into one month from now quantity, or let a few detainees who have been sucking on the teeth from earlier days of that month to go free. In some cases a steed consul will stroll around the warrens and see The Prisoner he realizes he sent to imprison inside the most recent month strolling around free. What at that point typically occurs, is the pony administrator will bring his increasingly favored watches, and distinguish which jail gatekeeper would have let this specific detainee far from the ocean b****** teeth early. So the shin detonator need to work in Great conspiracy with one another, and in Great mystery. In the event that any data discovers its way to the steed official they couldn’t just be sent to jail, however even be executed.

Presently, the individual responsible for executions is effectively influenced. There’s not a great deal among pay off and genuineness in the realm of Shin detonator. More often than not you can reward an authority of any position. The shin detonator who have been giving detainees out early a chance to have been doing as such effectively for at any rate the most recent a half year. Be that as it may, they all know it won’t be long, until the steed consul is meandering near or Warren and sees one of his detainees who’s been let out ahead of schedule. once in detonator said to another we have no more tears left to September so the other shin detonator said all around we should break into October, in light of the fact that there’s awfully numerous detainees strolling around the warrens. We can’t chance the steed regent finding a detainee that the picture will know has just been in prison for not exactly a month.

At that point you have to change to the following piece of the story where the red strings are being pulled up from under the dirt. Yet, before we arrive, we have to present the afro twins. The afro twins are joined heads. Quick. They don’t talk much except if they are disturbed. Tragically they’re always bothered on the grounds that they don’t feel comfortable underneath the dirt living with the shin detonator. So the afro twins have made companions with the pony regent. The pony regent doesn’t get disturbed by the afro twins talking in light of the fact that nobody talks horse prefix language which is English underneath the dirt. Everybody separated from the pony consul in the afro twins talks shin detonator. Which is a language just as an animal types.

So in their weariness the afro twins and the pony consul have assembled plans for a theater execution. This Theater execution should occur before a town, this town is alluded to in my other novel Fisher. It’s where the town are being told about particles noticeable all around that have been pollinating their brains. Who is fleeing from who? They don’t have the foggiest idea who they’re fleeing from. The shin detonator that is. Someone has been endeavoring to smoke shin detonator out of the dirt. The steed consul is the principle guilty party of doing this, however he must work in intrigue with another person. The afro twins will definitely know who this individual is, on the off chance that it isn’t there. Since the steed consul can just speak with the outside world through the afro twins. In spite of the reality the steed prefix can talk immaculate English, just the afro twins can yell sufficiently noisy for them to be heard over the dirt by a portion of the younger students going around the shower. Presently this conveys us to the younger students and why there may be a shower in the play area.

Lentils don’t cool down as quickly as the shin detonators porridge. What’s more, the horse prefect isn’t even in the building! He’s run off with the other horse prefect. Poor old braithwaites heartbroken. She was up in the tree with Underling. Ok, her recovery can start now. Underlings come back from the guitar shop. Where are the stem cell hosers? Ask sanderling. He’s been too busy looking after the teachers at the foot of the trees. Those teachers needed his help when brathwaite came and stole their ankles. She was running around Ray bed. She’s got too much going on in her head. As it’s shin detonator steps over the Warren thread, the red Warren thread. Do you remember? It isn’t too much to ask. I shouldn’t detonator Step Over the red cotton thread. That’s right. I forgot to mention it’s cotton. The cotton thread can still transmit sound. Underneath in the soil the laws of the pollen have penetrated down but a mutated into other laws of the small science, and the big science.

Who are the alcoholics? Who posed this inquiry? It was the main invigilator. The kid, not the main invigilator was a lush. An alcoholic kid. They don’t do their tests in the late spring in light of the fact that the alcoholic young men, dependably get alcoholic in the late spring. The dust is likewise to fault. It had thought of itself into the story. The dust was alcoholic. The youngsters were all drunkards. It was missed through Underling reconnaissance. It was Underling who should screen the kids’ drinking. Who’s a consul? Who’s the screen? These are on the whole Awards to the best youngsters. Be that as it may, a large portion of these youngsters currently have goats up in their legs. Goats have biting within their bones. Making them because of her around like they’re moving over a hot vehicle. It’s an excessive amount to look for poor brathwaite she hasn’t had the option to climb vehicles since she was a tyke. the play area is a miserable spot for Braithwaite. Indeed, even the kids are more joyful than her. The afro twin break boom out throughout the evening. the shin detonator don’t have the foggiest idea what to express who will freed you of the afro twins? No one prefers the astrotwins. They’re excessively uproarious. They’re in an ideal situation down in the dirt with the pony official. At any rate the pony regent appreciates tuning in to their meandering throughout the evening. They some of the time wonder if that is the genuine motivation behind why the shin detonator officers once in a while sold out the pony official, and end up running down to the part where they should like the Kindle each hour. It doesn’t take a great deal to put a capital K on Kindle. However, in this occurrence we discussing the stuff that begins fire nothing to do with programming. The pot has been bubbling, however as we brought up before, the shin detonator have left and gotten away not through one of the warrens, yet by venturing more than one of the warrens. In the dirt the warrens were sufficiently huge to resemble a tremendous passage. Like the Blackwall Tunnel. Passages shin detonator could walk around. However at this point they’ve been pulled up over the dirt, they are little red cotton string. You can venture over them. You can most likely more probable, stumble over them. It’s an excessive amount of pulling up of cotton string by Braithwaite and her partners. A portion of the harmed educators, the Braithwaite left when she denied them of their lower legs, have likewise been made up for lost time in the tangling of the red cotton string. The trees roots have even been made up for lost time in this tangling. It’s creation a portion of the trees less enduring. Presently a portion of the educators are up in the trees. These educators escape braithwaites hatchet comma yet they may finish up getting considerably increasingly harmed if there are verse, and the tree tumbles down. In any case, having said that, you additionally wouldn’t have any desire to be on the grounds without any lower legs, with a falling tree around, in light of the fact that you may finish up being underneath the tree that is tumbled down. So there, you would need to wounds. You would have your lower leg damage, in addition to you would likewise have the intrigue used to recolor from being hit by a falling tree. The tree itself would get harmed. In any case, remember, the drifting individuals floating close to the trees. Might they have the option to connect a hand, and relentless the falling tree? It depends how solid they are. Be that as it may, brathwaite didn’t do any of this deliberately. She didn’t realize she was agitating the dirt when she was ransacking the instructors of their lower legs. The lower leg ransacking was absolutely matter of fact. She required them in her trading in the kitchen, when she expected to get Underling to go out to the trees and figure out how to drift by them, so he could persuade the instructors to disclose to him the mystery about Braithwaite affecting the substance of the test. Since you need to recall, again recollecting is significant here, the Underling was the kid who left the play area, and sat in the field alone. When he was out in the field without anyone else, he was pulling up grass like there was no tomorrow. Presently these grass cutting edges prompted the Cadets coming into the story. In any case, Braithwaite is a kid, and we said prior that kids don’t care for the cadets. So it appears to be unusual to brathwaite the Underling would coax the Cadets into the story, when he himself is an offspring of the school. So Underling wasn’t care for the greater part of different youngsters in the school. It’s currently trusted that Underling had no hamburger with the Cadets. He may even have been a cadet sooner or later. Since certain cadets are additionally younger students. It came round full circle.

The alluring educators had performed one more character Assassination on Underling. Them three will hear their very own Laboratories. Presently these Laboratories had been sectioned into three separate labs. A portion of these Laboratories were situated underneath the shoreline where the waves smashing. Presently the vessels Stood Still, despite the fact that they were exceptionally close to the harsh oceans of the shoreline. Cricket appears to have a quieting impact even on water. The general population on the pontoon were drinking endlessly cheerfully, even the elderly person who might finish up moving down to the base of the ocean and being in the case that started off another red string. The other red string that connected itself to the base of the pontoon he was drinking in. Presently the elderly person didn’t care for the Sea Beach without a doubt. He saw the passage that they were burrowing from underneath the River see line that was burrowing in through the shin detonators prison cells. This would just further destabilize the trees, and perhaps cause them to fall and hit yet much more instructors. Some of them on the head. Branches were at that point being tossed down onto the grass, get a portion of the instructors from above. A portion of the instructors have turned without anyone else. Possibly this is the means by which a portion of the younger students likewise turned on the Cadets. The instructors in the trees had overlooked that they had ever even been educators. The kids had even overlooked that they were once cadets creeping around in the dirt. Slithering around between red cotton string, meshed into spot by Braithwaite and her widespread pulling up of the red soil string. This red soil string was the correspondence system of the shin detonator. The correspondence organize that had them all conversing with one another stealthily, in undercover work mystery, when something well known was on the TV. All things considered, we call it TV. They didn’t actually have TV underneath the dirt, yet it was some other type of mass stimulation that was intended to invalidate the minds of the shin detonator into tolerating the manners in which the pony consul had set in the law. No, he didn’t engage in sexual relations in the law. I stated, set the law. You comprehend the contrast among sex and set. Such an excess of discussing sex is simply moving the subject further far from that of Shin detonator. Shouldn’t detonator were talking through the correspondence system, and arranging how to get away from the dirt. Not that they disapproved being in the dirt. They didn’t. Actuality, they very loved it. Yet, what they didn’t care for, was the standard of the pony regent. The job of the pony administrator, and the consistent goading of the astrotwins. When the red cotton string progressed toward becoming exemplified, and the astrotwins wound up strolling around in the veins of the recently made creature, the more joyful the shin detonator would turn into. The shin detonator were a lot more joyful without the astrotwins around on the grounds that the afro twins did only not them and grass them up to the pony official, at whatever point anybody did anything incorrectly. Furthermore, in addition, even a portion of the allegations against the shin detonator or false. Presently were they for some reason, or were they just erroneously blamed for things by afro twins who didn’t comprehend what they were discussing. How might you expect shin detonator, sorry, not appearing, afro twins. I intended to state afro twins. How might you expect afro twins to comprehend the network of Shin detonator, when they consume their entire time on earth living over the dirt, and they’ve as of late been acquainted with the world underneath the school. The world underneath the school is the dirt world. In the event that you need to comprehend anything about the dirt world, and you just communicate in English, you’ll need to address the trees. Since the trees have roots underneath the dirt. Likewise the trees have a trunk branches and leaves over the dirt. So the trees comprehends life over the dirt and furthermore underneath the dirt. Be that as it may, trees don’t talk in all respects effectively in English. To comprehend the English trees talk, you initially need to figure out how to converse with them. The most ideal approach to figure out how to converse with a tree, is through music. Trees react to music. They develop better with music. They appreciate music. When they begin getting a charge out of the music, and you play them the right sort of music. Not established, or instrumental. In any case, music with English verses. Clear, reasonable, articulate, verses. The trees will begin tuning in to you. At that point, give them two or three years, they will begin to get you. At that point they begin conversing with you. They begin conversing with you with their mouths. Their leaves are their mouths. They make commotions with leaves. A great many people don’t hear the words tree express through the stirring of their leaves. They don’t hope to hear words originating from a tree, so a great many people don’t exchanged that piece of their mind on. Not that they can even control that piece of their cerebrum. That piece of their mind works naturally. In any case, the programmed tasks of the cerebrum don’t anticipate that trees should begin conversing with them, so all individuals here is a theoretical stirring of commotion. In any case, on the off chance that you are conversing with trees, the subliminal piece of your cerebrum that perceives what you were doing, will likewise condition itself to anticipate a reaction. So on the off chance that you take a gander at a tree and you have a ton of experience conversing with trees, your mind will enable you to translate the stirring sound. Which isn’t too troublesome in light of the fact that the stirring sounds will be in a similar language as the music you’ve been playing to them. What’s more, the vast majority don’t tune in to music that is over unknown dialect to they talk. Also, in addition, most good music is sung in English. Thusly most trees communicate in English. Which is a tad bit of reasonable on individuals that don’t communicate in English on the grounds that regardless of whether they are available to the possibility that trees may talk them, they most likely wouldn’t comprehend it in any case except if they have been preparing there trees utilizing music where the verses I found in their local language. Having said that a great deal of music is that tune in the local language of the nation wherein the music is sold and basically tuned in to so it isn’t that quite a bit of an issue.

The trees we were discussing prior have been talking in English since the start of the story. The leaves have been deciphered in the Minds of two of the harmed instructors, who are as of now creeping around on the grass searching for their lower legs. Presently, these educators have discovered bunches of telephone calls, however I experiencing difficulty recognizing their own. All things considered, who can distinguish their very own lower legs. We never observe her lower legs. At any rate not under ordinary conditions. The lower legs the instructors have been snatching may be there, yet on the other hand may be somebody else’s. Who even knows whether coordinating sets of lower legs are indistinguishable. Would you be able to even from a basin of lower legs, choose as well yet have a place with yourself, however at any rate have a place with a similar individual. Do lower legs come in interesting sets? Braithwaite knows yet the educators don’t have the foggiest idea. The educators who have the most time staring them in the face, I generally the instructors that invest most energy conversing with trees. They have a favorable position over different educators. The trees are telling the educators where the prison cells are situated underneath them. In the event that the educators need assistance discovering it lower legs, they would improve enlisting a portion of the shin detonator from the correctional facility cells beneath. However, so as to do that you first need to know where the correctional facility cells are, and after that. I misplaced my thought process. The educators need to not just find the correctional facility cells containing shin detonator, however they likewise need to work out how to break into the prison cells. All the more critically break out of the prison cells, and take the shin detonator with them. Be that as it may, even once you’ve done that how would you recognize the accommodating shin detonator, from the unhelpful shin detonator. They all appear to be identical. In any event that is the thing that individuals who aren’t shin detonator think. The shoe detonator are slanted to enable educators to recognize the right lower leg bones. They are likewise ready to illuminate educators that you can distinguish two lower legs as being from a similar individual regardless of whether you can’t determine who that individual is. So first you need to gather every one of the lower legs and place them in one pot. At that point you’ll need to scavenge through that part and begin hauling out lower legs as you would choose in bits of a jigsaw. You at that point need to combine up every lower leg with its sibling or sister, contingent upon whether it is from a male or a female instructor. These lower legs would then be able to be probably credited to the ideal individual, by seeing sexual orientation size and weight. I isolated size from weight there, as they are two unique issues. I mean hold up as in the kind of weight that is about how overwhelming you are, not weight as in to what extent you would hold up in a specialist’s sitting area for instance so a portion of the spelling of weight may be conflicting.

The most lower legs any one individual has, is as well. A few people stop when I state 2. It could be spelt in different ways, I’m alluding to the number 2. The vast majority have two lower legs. Furthermore, the most lower legs any one individual will have is likewise as well. None of the educators have under two lower legs. So when the shin detonator found that they had an odd number of lower legs in the pot, they understood that they didn’t have the total set. So before they began dispensing lower legs to anybody, being socialists, they chose to hold up until they had every one of the lower legs of everyone before appropriating them. Not many individuals like this. A portion of the instructors grumble to the shin detonator, yet the shin detonator didn’t help them since they thought it was uncalled for on the educators that didn’t have the two lower legs accessible, for different instructors be to be given both their lower legs while regardless they’re pausing. So the educators shaped an association. The Union permitted to educators, under 1 law, to state to the shin detonator that they needed all instructors who could have their lower legs given to them, given to them. The educators they didn’t have lower legs to be given, would simply need to manage it. It’s important now that none of the instructors new right now whether there lower legs were in the pot or not. So every one of the instructors were tolerating the way that they will be unable to have their lower leg straight away, and a portion of their companions and adversaries would likewise have both their lower legs come back to their, while they were all the while hanging tight for their. This may have been worried for the shin detonator however once they had understood that the educators approved of it, the shin detonator were ready too.

This takes us on to the general population on board the pontoon in the River. The stream was getting uneven yet the pontoon was remaining still. Be that as it may, in any event the waterway was getting uneven, not at all like previously. It’s not simply the wave slamming in the shoreline. The remainder of the water is ending up exuberant too. It’s notwithstanding getting somewhat stormy. A few vessels of flying through the air, yet not the pontoon with the Cricketers on full stop the gathering the Cricketers have gone to stays undisturbed, while these pontoons are flying through the air. Not exactly sufficiently high to achieve the mists but rather low enough to smack shin detonator in the face as they fly through the sky. The drifting individuals over the Sinn detonator were investigating their shoulder and saw a portion of these things flying through the sky. What are they? They are both obviously. Pontoons running off base, obviously would it say it isn’t self-evident?. The pontoons are obviously, obviously. It’s not verse. It is only that the vessels have been going through the air for such a long time that some of them have advanced toward the play area. So now the instructors lying on the ground have a third thing to be stressed over. Right off the bat they’re stressed over their lower legs be absent. Besides they are stressed over being hit by fallen tree. Presently they’re likewise stressed over Korean with a flying pontoon, that has been tossed through the air by the tempest currently contaminating the generally still waters of the waterway, originating from the boisterous water development at The Shore of the shoreline where the waves are landing. The ways the arrival close to the feet of the kids, so does the goat application infection bounce from the legs of the youngsters into the rough Waters of the ocean? We don’t have the foggiest idea. We realize that the goat application can end up airborne. On the off chance that it can wind up airborne, at that point it is powerless to dust. Pollen travels through the air.

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This present man’s been talking at the far divider for whatever length of time I recollect. Sat with his back to me. Just me and him in the room. I’m lying face up on my bed. I give a half spin to confront my dad’s side of this bed. Beside my father’s side of the bed, is a morning timer, some people insist on calling an ‘alarm clock’. It’s a cautionary device and phone consolidated into a single item that rouses him each morning. This other man’s around forty years of age and sat half off the edge of the bed, alongside the telephone. I know nothing else about him. He keeps his ear closest to me free. He’s following the red numbers on the screen of the alerter with his correct pointer, holding the beneficiary to his ear with his left. His finger moves and eyes look as you would when fidgeting with a snaked telephone rope, similar to the one he’s deciding not to, or your hair like young ladies do. Coiled springs of plastic and cable. He’s simply talking, not purposefully to anybody and isn’t aware of his finger. He’s not conversing with the telephone or himself. He’s simply talking out to thin air, with no idea of, or enthusiasm for what his words are. He’s been persuaded, harassed himself into considering, they’ll dissipate into quiet before reaching the stopping point of the wall. Not to mention achieve landing on any other individual. I’m watching at the tip of his finger brush along the red lines and see it tap a couple of times before each hop to one of the red specks. In doing as such, I’m compelled to pursue what his companions are stating, that he should figure no one but he can hear. In the event that he supposes anything. I can tell he doesn’t realize I’m tuning in based on what he’s expression. You can pursue his considerations as he’s talking. There’s no protection from his discourse, no behavior or bothered cold affirmations, similar to when an outsider’s tuning in. He’s talking excessively smooth even to see the general population he should know well, are on the telephone with him. It’s suspicious how unadulterated of thought he is. I move my head a little to check whether this present beneficiary’s extremely a shoe or something different of my folks. His companions are talking among themselves as much as they are to him, you could tell just from softly catching. He’s not by any means a man, this man on the bed. He’s progressively similar to a doll. There’s a moving mechanical picture nearby everybody’s talking. One picture encompasses each line of discourse from the two closures of the telephone call. It’s the inner parts of a straightforward Victorian flying machine endeavoring to make steam and lift itself off the ground. I can’t hear the voices, and I’m seeing them at a phase sooner than my eye’s would, however they’re not from creative energy. I’m not producing these pictures. They’re outside and free however just piece of my condition. I hear everything like precious stone being said from the two sides. It’s not simply I’m mindful of what they’re stating without hearing them. The voices are capable of being heard outwardly. You can see more from the machines steam and levitation than can he heard, from hearing alone, yet on the off chance that you could in the event that you were hearing also. In case you’re to get anything from watching the machine, nothing else can be permitted to interfere. It’s a discussion from before. He’s conversing with a young lady, around twelve years of age who spins her fingers as she talks and looks away at a similar divider he does. An elderly person’s voice says her words for me, as I state them back to the multi year old’s free ear. Presently increasingly twelve-year-old young ladies are on the whole conversing with one another and this picture of a Victorian flying machine gets more grounded and more grounded, the more I see all these extra pieces of the discussion participate. There’s more than one individual on the opposite end of the multi year old’s telephone call, however he’s never sufficiently diverted for his finger to quit following the red lines. The machine pounds more diligently, similar to a reason to attempt and pulverize itself each time I see another individual talking. It reacts just to what I’m encountering despite the fact that it was here, and participating, before I arrived. It resembles a canine who’s discovered another proprietor. It’s the gathering of the multi year old young ladies companions holding his consideration, the man on the edge of the bed, each time his finger hops to tap on a red spot. Each time his finger hops, another young lady’s simply said something. It’s nothing I’ve seen with a relative, or a work partner, and I’m persuaded it can’t be begun in adulthood. I would have begun this discussion when I was a child, and would have been with an outsider or somebody I didn’t know well. I more likely than not been here, on and off, while never being aware of being here at the time. In the event that I knew about this bouncing around in time, I wouldn’t be here at this point. The multi year elderly person inclines towards me once in a while, and investigates see what I’m doing. I believe he’s a cousin, or a nephew or something. I stroll down to the kitchen, where there’s a greater amount of my more distant family setting up a dinner. It’s late spring. The kitchen garden entryways have been left open to let in the cool air. It’s excessively packed, so I stroll pull out the kitchen entryway and pursue the hallway till it augments sufficiently out to be too enormous to be my home any longer. Retreat the kitchen entryway in the long run turns into the main floor of a pinnacle square. It’s such a spread.You can’t get a gauge of what number of individuals are near. At any rate two lifts come up here. It’s tan darker rugs, and wide perspectives like only you’re between gallery rooms. As our kitchen goes straight out to the main floor, I didn’t have to pass security or gathering ground floor. Security have ok’d me coming through, and I strolled past them all early today when it was as yet dim. There’s no feeling of it being an airplane terminal till you get upstairs, which you need to do by means of the lift. You can just observe the elevators coming up once you’re as of now on the principal floor, and the general population on them are genuine specialists here, senior enough to be lifted on the lifts by receptionists when they arrive. They’re dolls, these senior specialists, and are in any event in their forties. This would have occurred before I was lying on my folks bed this evening around noon. The applications I procedure are kept on 12 inch vinyl records, and are for courses in nursing. Police are here in little numbers, taping off zones they need to seek later. A record’s tumbled down the back of my file organizer. I process applications for the pinnacle squares courses. The halls are more extensive than when I worked here. It’s increasingly similar to Shanghai airplane terminal, progressively open arrangement and everything more extensive, with glass windows all over the place. It may even have had those level lifts on this floor. This structure should likewise be a piece of an airplane terminal. There aren’t any dividers that aren’t glass. Through the outside dividers are runways joining the rugs to the solid outside. You can’t perceive how it goes through the windows, yet they’re not open. Police are all near, searching for this missing application structure. That they’re searching for something I know the whereabouts of, is sufficient to make me feel sufficiently remorseful not to need to support them. I delicately tell my manager, an inch from her ear, that I think I know where the application structure is. She snorts. She wouldn’t like to help them any longer than I do. The police need the full lockdown seek so much, they would prefer even not to discover it yet. This lady called to state her better half hadn’t landed at work. Gathering hadn’t seen him. I touched base at gathering toward the beginning of today and saw they hadn’t got his call today. This current man’s abnormal in that he in every case unnecessarily telephones gathering in front of arriving. He’s one of only a handful couple of individuals left, or was, with a vehicle telephone. He calls to say he’s regarding thirty seconds from the vehicle leave, legitimately outside gathering. As though doing as such would hold him a space. He’s a frantic talker, killed on his approach to work at the beginning of today. You’d think miserable individuals getting killed would be less lamentable. His better half realized gathering hadn’t got notification from him, so called the police direct. There was no contact among gathering and the lady. The lady hadn’t executed her significant other, and didn’t know about his murdering. She just realized gathering hadn’t got notification from him, without hearing this from anybody. So’s the reason she called the police. This lady has experienced what I’ve experienced, lying on my folks bed. The scene, we played back together on one of the clear records, me and the killed keeps an eye on spouse. I saw him get killed, and the spouse just realized her better half had been executed through me seeing it with her. It’s an alleviation for her to not feel terrible for him any longer. On the off chance that I hadn’t have been there, she wouldn’t have seen a thing. So now I’m back in the workplace, where I was with my supervisor, and I realize what the police are searching for. The spouse and I composed it on a clear plate just by watching it, so we’ll likely get indicted. The one down the back of my file organizer isn’t even a similar one. My manager, for reasons unknown, and I are shielding the police from discovering it. Presently me and the spouse both know, it doesn’t appear to make a difference any longer what the police do. So I was in the workplace. My manager needs me to lay down with her, presently I’ve been with the killed keeps an eye on spouse. I knew the killed man, as I’ve seen him get killed, in any event as it was played back the first run through round. His body was discovered striped in a lodging before the police arrived. The missing application structure continues returning in the kitchen with my more distant family. Being around my more distant family, and furthermore becoming acquainted with this multi year old young lady and her companions, I thought possibly I could reconnect with my old companions too. Be that as it may, they have children now and are excessively occupied.

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It’s sad. You wouldn’t even think he’s trying to hide. The company chairman’s looking straight into our carriage from the other end of the platform. I can even see when he blinks. His binoculars flicker white momentarily. His blink rate will drop to less than once per minute. His breathing’s a worry. Even from where I’m sitting, you see the lapels of his coat going up and down. When he sees evidence of us being in the right state of mind though, he’ll make his move. By this, I mean joining us in the carriage to do the feeding. The feeding’s the climax to this whole operation of his. It’s an annual event he added to the company calendar thirty years ago. He arrives with his bucket of fish, but none of this happens if he thinks our lips aren’t swollen shiny rosey red and the floor isn’t already half covered in saliva. He likes to feel his wellingtons are necessary. He’d rather it be a proper abattoir, or one of those goose farms. This is what he’s looking for in his binoculars. Evidence of shiny lips and shiny chins. Swinging heads and whites of eyes bouncing in the background. He won’t move until he’s seen, what he calls, rabies. He’ll be feeding us fish from the bucket he’s holding down by his knees for now. Binoculars in his left hand, bucket in his right. Seeing each others mascara running’s making us laugh. It’s funny because he’s the animal feeder, and we’re all his seals. He’ll be here soon. The train leaves in fifteen minutes. The feeding needs to be over by then. The carriage is near full, with its twenty chosen men, writhing their shoulders and necks independently, going “Ahhurrreww-UuuHhurruhhh. AourruhHhur-oOurAaRrruH” from deep within and to the sides of their throats. Just like seals do. The chairman can’t hear us from where he is, but through his binoculars, he can tell. He can tell when we’re ready. He knows when it’s time. The team have been re-enacting this scenario at every team holiday for the last thirty years. This is my first, and last year. I’m not sure why I’m here, because unlike the others, I don’t work for the company. But the chairman, he won’t move while we’re just pretending to be seals. That’s what his waiting and watching’s about. He’s waits for total immersion. Usually about twenty minutes from first assuming our seating position. It’s no fun for either him, nor us, for this to be just your regular team building role play exercise. With people pretending to be something they’re not. You have to be the seal. Role play is for company away days. This is more. It’s a company skiing trip. Our waddling’s waddling the carriage. The other passengers aren’t happy. In fifteen minutes, our train leaves. By which time, the chairman will be onboard, and we’ll all be satisfied. He’s looking at everyone but me. There’s twenty of us in this carriage. Behind the chairman, with bigger binoculars, is a library desk. It’s taking notes, and its binoculars are pointing in the same direction as the chairman’s. Nineteen of us, here in this carriage, are the chairman’s staff. I’m the only one who isn’t. It’s them and me. I’m just on my way to the library, but somehow got caught up in it. You wouldn’t know, as I’m in team uniform. Just like the others. The chairman knows when we’re ready. He’s hardly blinked since the second mechanic accidentally wiggled off the edge of his seat, before quickly clambering back on. When it’s not just a bunch of lame car mechanics getting into character. When he can see the belief in ourselves as his seals, he’ll drop his binoculars, and start making his way over here. You have to be the seal, or it’s no fun. It takes a while, but the chairman knows when we’re ready. He watches through binoculars from afar. Peering through the carriage windows from the other end of the platform. We’re on the noon train from London to Paris. The chairman reserved a carriage for us. Us being me and his team of mechanics. It leaves in fifteen minutes. Our carriage holds twenty and is already full. Me, and nineteen Formula One mechanics. The mechanics all work for the same team. The team chairman reserved the carriage for their end of season ski trip to the French Alps. He’s watching us through his binoculars with his feeding bucket in the other hand. After Paris, the train goes on to the Alps, then on to Russia. Everyone’s perched on the edge of their red plastic seats, awaiting the chairman and his bucket. He can see when our lower jaws stick out enough, and our hips get that authentic rhythm in their waddles. To the point where a couple of mechanics may slip off, onto the floor.
All twenty of us are in team shoes. Hands on both knees, straight back, if anything, arched inwards slightly, not slouching, ankles together. Once we’ve assumed the starting position, we can start the wiggling and seal noises. You have to shove your chin forward, so your mouth has enough of an underbite to get that raucous throat sound. It’s a kind of ArUhhh-ArUhh-ArUh. It’s not just that we’re all in black shoes, but we’re all wearing the exact same design and brand, bought in bulk, together, from the same shop. I’m also different from the others in that I’m English, travelling alone, and they’re mostly Swiss and are all travelling together. The handful that aren’t Swiss, are Dutch, Belgian, and from Luxembourg. They’re all mechanics at a Formula One team, looking forward to setting off on their end of season skiing holiday, but not before woofing down a bucket load of raw herring and flounder. There’s twenty of us. All looking round at each other, smiling at the thought of our pleasant and extravagant holiday. Laughing even, when you consider he’s the chairman and we’re the seals. Compared to theirs, my holiday’s only relatively extravagant. I’m getting off at the first stop, to go to the library on my own. The seal re-enactment’s a team building exercise, organised by the chairman. He likes to slap us around the face a little with each fish before dropping them, often several at a time, into our slithery gullets. I’m sat on a train. We haven’t moved yet. We’re waiting at the first stop, London. This route only has vague station names. There’s four. London, Paris, The Alps and Russia. The London stop’s in Muswell Hill. There’s twenty of us already in the carriage. Unlikely to be any more before we leave. Everyone, including me, is dressed in identical uniform. To repeat, we’re about to travel, first, from London, where we are now, non-stop to Paris. From Paris, it goes off and up into the snowy mountains of Eastern France. After the Alps, I’m guessing they’re the ones in France, it skips over to deepest Russia. I won’t be on the train beyond Paris. I’m getting off there to go to the library. Everyone else is staying on and going up the Alps. They’re all off on a skiing holiday. All of them together, in one group are going on holiday. Them, and their overgrown blond wavy haircuts with rich kid steps at the back. It doesn’t look more difficult or costly to cut than a normal haircut. But these are all adults, and that a lot of them still have a kids haircut gives the impression they’ve had a pretty easy life. Unlike everyone else, I’m getting off at Paris. We’re all between twenty and sixty. There’s no one else in our carriage, other than me and this ski group. Most people can’t afford to go on this train. It’s the only international train in the world. We’re sat here, perched on the edge of our red plastic seats in our uniform red ski jackets, uniform jeans, uniform grey socks and uniform black shoes. The inside of the train’s all boot scrubbed and polished. Everything to brilliant sterile white, apart from the red seats. The seats too are scrubbed, plastic and dry. The view of the Alps is a backdrop to the main event of the window. Everything other than the windows is plastic, including the red seats. We’re in ultramarine tight blue jeans. Beltless, darker and more saturated than regular Levi’s. The Eurotunnel doesn’t exist. It’s just this one, where instead of having an underground tube, you have an overhead monorail beam. It goes over the water like a ski lift, about the height of an average house above sea level. It’s not like a typical train. Looking back, I’d say “I took some high tech transport, it’s like a train, on one of those frictionless overhead conductor rails.” Our shoes are black and shiny, like a plastic puppet’s. We travel over the channel to the doorstep of this library, where only I get off. Goodbye my fellow seals. I wave them off. They’re still smiling in the silence we’ve been in since the chairman finally accepted he’d run out of fish. Apart from some giggling over memories of the fish slaps. No one, including me, questioned why I was there, knows how I came to be amongst them, how I got hold of their uniform, or why the team chairman paid for my trip in his tattooed face. I’ll never see any of those men again. It’s more like a fast ski lift, but where you have the white fibreglass shell of a train, it might have been fibreglass, not plastic, meaning, unlike a ski lift, you’re always inside, but there’s a foot long ventilation gap between the tops of the walls and the ceiling, taking full advantage of the fresh channel sea breeze. As it picks up speed, in the wind blusters, and you start envying those wavy haired rich boys. It must be a lovely head massage for them. You get the opposite problem in Paris. Paris smells like cack. The seats are suspended mid air like the electronic connectors in the rail above the roof. Static forces and momentum keep everything a couple of centimetres away from anything else, except for you and your seat. No organic matter conducts electricity. The library’s in central Paris. It’s the first French stop. I’ve come to look up an artist. Specifically to this library because in Paris, there’s no time and no one knows you. Everyone in London knows me, and they always have urgent stories to tell. I can’t remember the artist’s name right now, but once inside, I’ll see others like him and it’ll come. The interior, and everyone in it, rolls out before me, like a greeting carpet. The outside stands permanently, as you’d expect. Such an odd thing happens in regular flow and no one acknowledges it. The staircases are a lighter piney wood, lighter, I mean, than the Victorian dull mahogany of the bare floors and bookshelves, and have pinstripe suited men walking up to more in depth books. Everyone in this building’s highly educated. At the front, in front of the reception desk, is a small bookshelf just below where the table top juts out, with 20 or 30 books on it.
“Do you see how my top juts out, like your lower chins?” asks the desk.
The desk shows me.
“AhhUhhR-AuuuRrrHhh-UhhhUh-Oruhhh Uhhhrrow-uhhhrawWww-ourrrrUhhh”
It’s veneered chipboard, still with all its casters, but only standing because it’s leant back on reception’s panels. It would cost the same to make the veneer look nicer. Like a pine design, or other solid colour that wouldn’t get as dirty looking, like black or burnt umber. But like with their haircuts, the poorer things are depressed and resigned to themselves. The library building’s a single room, but I didn’t realise, entirely dedicated to art. I knew this till I walked in. The unraveling must have grabbed some of my forefront thoughts. I just go through the books at the front of reception, but can’t find the artist I’m looking for. They’re just some kids story books. I leave the library, and from the return train back to Muswell Hill, am taken back to a bare concrete hotel. Off the return train as normal, but from there, once back in London, by a thin African man clutching my elbow the whole way. He grabs it as I step off, and leads me along as if he’s a got a revolver. At some point, between waving goodbye to the ski holiday group, and walking up to the library, my clothes changed back to what I normally wear. When the skiers disappeared, my clothes changed back. We, the gentle kidnapper and me, arrive at a concrete three floor prison complex, like a grey maze. The ground floor must be wider than the ones above. You can look over your walls from inside your room, and over the roof of the building you’re in. It’s an L-shape layout like the flats on Lordship Lane. You’re made to feel you’re always outside. My room doesn’t have a roof you can see from inside, or ceiling, unlike the roof you can see on the other leg of the L. From outside, you can see the entire complex has a roof. Inside, there’s no furniture anywhere. You can see well into every room from the corridor. The only part of each room you can’t see’s the toilet, as the rooms themselves are also L shape. Other than concrete, there’s some decorational metal bars around, or metal gates. It’s grim, and shutdown. I mean, you’re constantly bullied by the interior atmosphere of the building. The architect’s built it in. You can’t see and smash them, like cameras. Then he shows me my room, never saying a word. I see his ear and a grade 3ish cut afro over the back of it. It’s night time. There’s fluorescent mosquito lights and background talking from young sounding people. My room has a concrete single bed, white pillow, two white sheets you can’t tuck in anywhere, and a blue blanket. Bare concrete walls, a light bulb, a concrete toilet, concrete sink. Nothing’s painted. Flat metal plates screwed in with electronic sensors for taps. I don’t know where the water comes out, but it does. There’s no doors on any rooms. There’s no furniture, or much in the way of personal belongings. No rooms are vacant. I’m the only resident who isn’t a student. I’m twice the age of anyone else here. Even the man showing me round can’t be thirty. There’s nothing to steal. Just this constant background murmur of students being drunk, sick, gangs of them plotting against each other. They’ve got no respect for me being new here. They don’t make an effort. No one approaches me. I’m desperately starting to like my chaperone. I sleep there tonight. As far as I remember, nothing much happened. I get back on this high tech transport and go back to the library. This time as I walk in, I remember the second, larger section where there’s more art books. There’s only the one ceiling at the top of the building. Seeing the whole building from the ground floor, you appreciate how many stairs and different types of ladder you need to start a library. The building’s round, the same proportions as a kitchen roll’s inner tube. Only wide because it’s massively tall. A man from television walks past looking like he works here. He’s on some television programme where they recreate things from the Arts and Crafts movement. He’s in a blue all in one outfit, but not like a car mechanic. I remember him from television, but now I see him in person, I realise I knew him from before as well. He must have been someone from one of the pubs round Windsor. As he’s from television, I make our conversation last longer than’s usual by pretending to forget the name of the artist I’m looking for. I needn’t have, as I can’t remember it anyway. But in pretending to, I push the name completely out my head. I’m confident he won’t get it, and I’ll remember soon by myself. Then I’ll get the big applause, and he’ll like and remember me.
“He’s a household name. You know him.” I say.
But the name’s still escaping me, and I think well, I must have been looking at him on the internet. I get my phone out to check the internet history. I type the wrong number for the passcode, and accidentally dial this masseuse I used to visit. The phone shows the screen saver, then back to the normal phone. There’s something wrong with my phone. It’s ringing, and the person it’s ringing is answering. The name’s displayed as STORM. I hang up, but not in time for her not to answer. I just catch her voice. I close the phone app thinking that might properly get rid of her and open up the internet, just to make sure she’s gone. While I’m here, I might as well do what I set out to. So I start looking up famous artists names.
“He’s a Russian.” I keep saying.
“He’s a Russian. You know him. He’s a household name. He’s in Berkshire.”
Lots of wrong double barrel names come to mind, so I think the name I’m trying to remember is probably double barrel. The staff are trying hard. I start looking at the spines of the books. I now realise, I’ve totally forgotten. I go back to my concrete room, but when I get back, it’s overloaded with stuff from my youth. Furniture, loose clothes, old rugby shirts and sports things from my school days. GIRL, and a friend of hers I’ve never met, are there. GIRL must have brought her along. GIRL is an old friend from years ago. We were friends for a couple of years when I was in my late twenties, and she, in her mid twenties. STORM texts me. It reads:
“later?… see me in 3 hours… I’m just hanging out yeah.”
I have to whisper to GIRL because my family are nearby. I leave GIRL standing there a minute while her friend and me climb over a load of bicycles, to get to my art studio. As the friend’s distracted looking round, I go back to GIRL and whisper in her ear. The room that was all concrete, is now my old home. I guess that’s what all the furniture and stuff was. I’m now back at home, and my parents are in earshot. I grab GIRL’s hair, she’s so beautiful. I have to go back to GIRL’s reaction when she first saw me today. When she turned up with her friend. Her friend I’ve never seen before. GIRL said, as soon as she saw me
“It’s so nice to see you.” and pulls me into her fat shoulder, rocking back and forth. Her hand’s on the back of my head. It’s comfort like I’ve never felt. More like relief. I say
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
She shoves my chest away, pushing my face out in the cold.
“What are you talking about?”
It throws me for a couple of seconds, by which time she’s laid solid on the bed like a wooden doll on its back, gazing up where there’s no ceiling anymore. The ceiling had returned when the room became full of my old clothes.
I repeat “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings”
Saying it twice doesn’t help. From realising I’d been living a lie, these last twenty odd years，I’m now back to where I started in an instant. I don’t know what to say, so I just say it a third time
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
I know she at least liked me, back when I was in my twenties, but I never, being useless with women, did anything about it. I’ve done enough damage, so look for her friend to talk to. I didn’t resolve it. What GIRL and I remember and felt about each other’s gone now. Thanks to her turning up and STORM’s text.

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